I just made out with a guy for $7.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
