Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
