so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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