Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
