So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
