Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
only you would photoshop your dick
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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