In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Randomize
