Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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