non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
