it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
