I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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