I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
