Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
