no, he came in my armpit
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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