Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize