Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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