cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
i out mim tonsoeep
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