I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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