Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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