you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
