yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
