I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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