People with herpes should wear stickers.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize