I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize
