sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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