Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize