Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
this is an emotional support booty call
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
