I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
