I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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