I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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