You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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