You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
