My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I think I sprained my soul last night
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize