I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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