Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
