escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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