Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
