On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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