Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize