You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
