I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
