Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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