So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
