Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
