I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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