you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
