when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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