Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
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