remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize