you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
