Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
i out mim tonsoeep
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