i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
