It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
