you have to choose: penises or morals?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
