Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
