He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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