Non-Jews are for practice
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
