I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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