she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
