Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
