Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
