gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
