Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
