Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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